


Memories

by hiniparlous



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Christmas, Drama, Friendship/Love, M/M, Multi, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-24
Updated: 2017-12-24
Packaged: 2019-02-19 15:11:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13126284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hiniparlous/pseuds/hiniparlous
Summary: Saeyoung and Vanderwood returned to the bunker, only to find a bloody and unconscious Saeran and a broken CCTV next to him.





	Memories

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks a lot to my friends translated this fanfiction. It might be the last fanfiction of mine, cuz my friend will not help me translate it next time, and I don't have enough time to do it myself... But still reconsider... Anyway, Merry Christmas guys!!! XD

“Relax, would you? The doctor said he’s fine.”

Vanderwood spoke slowly, something completely different from his usual manner. With a heavy heart, Saeyoung clasped his fingers around the cross necklace on his chest.

The brown-haired man gently put a hand on his friend’s shoulder, eyes silently looking at the hospital bed on their side.  
.  
.  
.  
Just a couple days ago, Saeyoung was super excited as the first week of December brought the cold wind of winter and an all-around festive atmosphere in the crowded streets. Christmas is finally here. He has been looking forward to celebrate Christmas with his twin brother for the first time after many years of separation. And when New Year comes, they would try to erase the bitter memories of the past and pray for a happy new year together. Saeyoung had been looking forward to those happy memories so so much.

Saeran shivered as the cold wind blew through the opened window, but he only had himself to blame, having refused to wear more clothes, instead stayed loyal to his thin, beige sweater. He sighed while laying along the sofa, while Vanderwood sat next to him, frowning, as usual, at Saeyoung’s behaviours.

Searan refused to go out into the cold. Saeyoung didn’t like it either, but his excitement to decorate the bunker had trumped everything. That idiotic older brother had brought the ex-agent with him as a bellboy, but Vanderwood didn’t complain, solely because they had to prepare for dinner anyway.

Saeyoung said that they would return soon. Vanderwood even turned around when he reached the door, meeting Saeran’s eyes as he watched them leaving. Their gaze was broken only by the closing door.

They returned after a few hours, only to find a bloody and unconscious Saeran and a broken CCTV next to him. Enough for them to understand what happened. Saeyoung immediately called for Jumin’s help.  
.  
.  
.  
Saeran’s sudden hospital admission shocked Saeyoung profoundly. He was fine just a few hours ago, and then he was in the emergency room. The doctors had done with their check-ups, and despite his head injury being non-fatal, Saeran remained unconscious.

Something like this had never happened when Saeyoung left the bunker. Even at this moment, he sat in front of the hospital bed, guilt gnawed at his heart.

“What should I do? How could I have left my gaze off you? If something were to happen, I would never be able to forgive myself…”

Vanderwood would have scolded him for that pathetic reaction, but he decided against it. He understood Saeyoung’s pain, they had been through so many things to be together again, and now he had to watch his younger twin lying on a hospital bed, injured.

It’s not like Vanderwood wasn’t worry either. He breathed out slowly, keeping his eyes on the red-haired kid with white bandages on his head.

The kid’s eyelids suddenly moved, drawing the two men’s immediate attention.  


The bright sunlight from the window make Saeran flinches. He closed his eyes again, but a warm, familiar voice suddenly attacked him with a barrage of question.

“Saeran, how are you feeling? Does it hurt anywhere? I will go call the doctor.”

Even Vanderwood would have been stumped by those questions, let alone a patient.

Saeyoung was just about to leave when Saeran opened his lips slightly.

“Sae… young…”

“Hm?”

He stopped immediately. Did Saeran want to say something? He thought, pulling himself closer to his brother.

“Saeyoung…”

He called his name again.

“What’s the matter?”

Saeyoung wasn’t ready for the answer.

“Where is Saeyoung?”

He told himself to calm down. Perhaps Saeran is still confused. He wasn’t sure of what to say when Vanderwood walked up to them.

“Do you know who we are?”

Saeran shook his head, his clear blue eyes stared innocently at the two men before him. He repeated the question.

“Where’s Saeyoung?”

Saeyoung felt like his heart just broke into pieces.

Unable to keep his calm any longer, the older twin ran away to search for Saeran’s doctor. Despite his frantic and anxious look, Vanderwood believed he wouldn’t cause a commotion in the hospital, thus he remained by Saeran’s side.

The sun was setting, the last rays of lights shone upon him and the patient. Each was occupied with their own thoughts. Vanderwood waiting for his friend to come back, and Saeran, his whole body exhausted and a constant headache, quietly questioned everything that had happened, how he ended up there and who were these people.

After a couple of minutes, Saeyoung came back with the doctor. He did a general check-up, asking him a few questions, and concluded that he had completely lost his memory. Saeyoung didn’t believe at first, pointing out how his twin called his name in the beginning, but the doctor explained that Saeran had a heavy concussion and the resulting trauma was inevitable. His memory loss was temporary, and the patient will recover after some times.

Vanderwood heard his friend sighed in relief, and he found himself doing the same thing. Saeyoung asked the doctor’s permission to discharge Saeran. Obviously he didn’t agree, arguing that the patient needed to be look after, but after Saeyoung pleaded and practically begged on his knees, the doctor finally agreed, on the condition that they must return regularly for check-ups.

Vanderwood aided Saeran up. Weak and dizzy, the kid fell against the former agent’s chest, hearing that strong heartbeat and sense that familiar smell, but nothing came back to him.

Those warm hands carefully lifted Saeran up, he knew the boy was still too weak to stand and left the room with him in his arms. Saeyoung had already waited for them in the car.

After they got in, Vanderwood, thinking of Saeran’s injury, decided to let him rest in his lap at the back of the car. Saeran knew this familiar feeling, he knew, and yet it was strange that he couldn’t remember where he had encountered such warmth before. But the headaches had once again taken over, and he surrendered to the exhaustion that followed.  
.  
.  
.  
Saeran woke up in a small bedroom. His body had been wrapped up with several layers of clothes and a thick polka dot blanket on top that defended against the freezing weather. He raised carefully, and left the comfy bed for the door. It creaked a little as he slowly opened and peered outside, to the unfamiliar house that he was in. Confused, he took a few steps outside.

His eyes were drawn in by the Christmas Tree placed by the staircase, the laurels covered in fake snow adorned the stair’s handrail, the candles all over the place and the many starlights hanged on the walls. But even so, the decoration had not been finished yet.

In his daze Saeran walked to another room, and nearly jumped at the sight of the brown-haired man, busy preparing for food.

“Ah, you’re finally awake. Do you feel a bit better now?”

The man asked immediately when he saw Saeran, but the way the latter coiled against the wall made him wonder whether he looked frightening at that moment.

“Saeyoung...?”

Vanderwood blinked a few times, and returned to the stew.

“Saeyoung, he…”

He stopped in the middle of the sentence, Saeran had silently walked to his side, his hands clasped the hem of his shirt, lips pressed together, looking down to the floor. He’s probably hungry, thought Vanderwood, he had not eaten anything today after all. Still unsused to the kid’s new demeanour, the agent patted the red head in front of him.

“When the stew’s done, let’s eat together!”

Vanderwood found his heart stopped for a second at Saeran’s wide and excited smile. He had never seen that bright smile on him, ever. But the boy tugged his shirt to call back his attention.

“Then, can you bring me home?”

Vanderwood had nearly forgotten that the kid was amnesiac. Since THIS IS his house, the ex-agent didn’t know what to reply. Fortunately, Saeyoung had just entered the room, and heard the last bit of the ongoing conversation.

“This is your house, Saeran.”

“Not true!”

Saeran shook his head, his voice different from the usual grunts. It was anxious and …scared.

“Mom will be angry if she finds out that I’m not home. She will beat me…”

Remembering the doctor’s diagnosis that a few memories were temporary lost, Saeyoung wanted to check further, what exactly this Saeran could remember.

“You know Saeyoung, don’t you?”

The boy nodded. He continued.

“Do you know where Saeyoung is?”

Saeran shook his head and replied.

“Saeyoung suddenly disappeared. He left me, I’m scared that mother will scold me...”

Finally Saeyoung understood the gravity of the situation. His brother’s memory stopped at the moment when he secretly left, but that was many years ago. With that much memory loss, could he really recover? Saeyoung placed his hands on the table, trying for the umpteen time to calm himself down.

Meanwhile Vanderwood had finished serving the stew, he patted his friend back in consolation and signaled both of them to sit down. He looked at Saeran, his hand automatically came up to pat his head again.

“Don’t worry, your mom is not here to scold you. This is your home now.”

“Not tr-“

“This is your house, this is where you belong.”

Vanderwood cut his line, asserting this reality that the younger twin himself could not remember. He put his hand on the other half’s shoulder who was feeling complicated in that very messing up moment.

“This man here is Saeyoung!”

Vanderwood explained more. The boy’s eyes full of confusion, gazing at the red-haired man sitting on the opposite made that older twin even more miserable.

“If that was Saeyoung, how would I not know him?”

“Your memory loss is temporary, sooner or later you will remember, and during that time, rest assured that no one will be able to hurt you.”

Vanderwood’s gentle words to the kid was in fact a consolation to his twin brother. Saeran hesitantly touched his forehead. Am I sick? Perhaps this man was right. He had the feeling that he’d lost something very important, and the two men in front of him were the keys to it.  
.  
.  
.  
Saeyoung turned off the lights, and made sure that Saeran was tucked warmly in his bed before he left.

Snow falling down, painted the midnigh sky the color of white, Vanderwood decided to sleep over. This is not the first time he stayed, one of his jobs before was watching this red-haired hacker, taking care of him and slept on the red sofa. Not so long after that, Saeyoung considered him as a family member, gave him a room, of course the one who had to clean that messy place was no one but himself.

Midnight, Saeyoung still hasn’t slept. He sat on the sofa, smart phone in hand, the dim light from the screen shining his face in this dark room. There was still some RFA member online this late, they questioned Saeran’s situation as soon as he log into the chatroom.

In the middle of silence, he could hear clearly a sobbing sound from behind, Saeyoung turned back and saw Saeran hugging bolster close to chest. He immediately came close, scared that maybe his brother was having nightmare or hard to sleep, maybe he cried, wanting to sleep with him.

Saeyong lied at the edge of the small bed, he wanted Saeran to be as comfortable as possible. But just for a little while, Saeran buried his head into the person next by’s chest, listened to his brother’s calming heartbeat before fell deep into sleep. Saeyong gently patted Saeran’s back with a faint smile, questioning himself whether he should feel happy or sad. It was painful when the memories during the past was completely empty with his precious brother lying next to him.  
.  
.  
.  
Two weeks had passed from the day that incident happened, Vanderwood did everything he could for the twins, he stayed to watch after Saeran everytime Saeyong was not home. If they were both not home, he unavoidable had to get a help from Yoosung. Zen was busy with his acting schedule for a new role. C&R was also bustling with charitable for the year end event, Jaehee has too many things she had to do so she usually came home really late and there is no need to mention Jumin, this chief executive was also did not have any free time for himself, so there was only Yoosung left, who was currently in his vacation.

Day after day, Saeran fell into a strange world, Yoosung sometimes came to play games with him, the blonde boy wondered if Saeran lost his memories or not, no matter how hard he tried, he could never win over that red-haired boy for once, because what he lost was his memories not knowledge. Vanderwood took him out for a walk, Saeran was very excited, like he had never stepped a step outside his house. When the night fell, Saeyoung turned off all the lights and turned on a horror movie, the younger twin was scared and embraced his brother tightly until the movie ended he still not let go, then clained his brother to sleep with him. Other members could only visited for a short time, sometimes gave one’s regard to him.

Saeran was so innocent, he looked no different than a child, just like the little brother who always believe and love him in his childhood. How much time has passes since then, Saeyoung asked himself, Saeran showed no sign of recovery. Normally he acted coldly toward him, told him harsh words, but the older twin has never put that in mind. Separated since childhood, the gap between them was too wide, too few of memories to regain.

Came back from the hospital, even though his bunker was much warmer than the weather of winter ouside, he still felt so cold inside his heart. Vanderwood was cleaning the bunker, as soon as he saw his friend, the man could hardly wait to know the situation. The pair of golden eyes looked sadly, Saeyoung said while keeping his head down.

The doctor said, recover or not, is up to the patient’s will, there were cases of the patients with criticize or traumatize experience that they tried to run away from, their brain would hide the part of memories its owner wanted to forget.

Life has its blessing and calamities, good things never last forever, Saeyong always told himself that everything would turn out alright, everyday tried to help his brother with his treatment. But after many days without progress, the doctor diagnosed based on Saeran’s situation, he almost gave up on everything, why has it to be like this?

“Look you two, I just drew this!”

Saeran cheerfully ran toward them, raised a piece of paper he was holding. But looked at their gloomy look, his smile was wiped away, those round eyes blinked, questioning what was happening.

Suddenly Saeyong grabbed his brother’s shoulders, tried to stop his tears from falling down, he looked desparated, his heart hurted so bad, why did he hate himself so much, the hacker felt like he was loosing himself.

“I know you don’t want to remember…All the pain I put you through, all the mistakes you made, our distance is too great…”

Saeran looked lost. Saeyoung’s voice trailed off, hand desperately clutching his precious brother’s shirt.

“Even if you hate me, even if you wish that I wasn’t born, even if you can’t forgive me, even if I am the one who caused you the most pain, please just be angry at me, yell at me, be furious at me, just tell me how I can atone for my mistakes, so I can make it up to you…Please…anything…Please don’t forget what we have been through…Please don’t forget about me…”

Tears slowly felt down their cheeks, Vanderwood suddenly pulled Saeyoung back, told him to calm down, he is making Saeran scared. The younger one just stand their in silent, the painting he wanted to show them now crushed in his palm.

Saeran walked back to his room in sadness and sorrow, blaming himself for not recovering, for making Saeyoung disappointed. He sat on his bed, tears still had not stop, hearing a knock on the door, he quickly wiped it with his sleeve. Vanderwood came in, walked straight next to him and then sat down. Even if he tried to hide his tears, the sobbing sounds was still there.

“Saeran, I know there was a lot going on between you, but the past should be the past. It’s not easy to forget, but you should treasure the present too.”

“I… haven’t tried enough, have I?”

Vanderwood patted his head. He has been doing that since countless time since the day of the accident. And Searan liked it a lot, he saw the gesture as a source of strength.

“Everyone care about you. They are trying to help you remember, slowly and willingly. Don’t fret, all illnesses take time to heal. And most importantly, don’t blame yourself.”  
.  
.  
.  
Vanderwood took a long drag on his cigarette outside his balcony in the middle of winter, thinking filling up his mind no matter how strong and calm he might looked. Extinguished his glimmer cigarette, he walked back inside, went pass Saeran’s room. He sneaked inside, the boy curled inself in the blanked, eyes still red after crying. Slowly closed the door, he went straight to living room, where the red sofa was, and saw Saeyoung sitting there. Came close, Vanderwood realized he dozed out.

The brown haired man went inside and took out a thick blanket and tucked his friend with it. No matter how austrere this ex-agent was, he had to admit he really did worry about the twins. He had been staying since the day Saeran came back from the hospital, the feel of guilt made Saeyoung hardly slept, recently he looked blue, bored, full of despair, and only fell asleep because of the tiredness.

The sun started going down, thin sunlight shined weakly through the white of snow, Vanderwood let the brothers rest, went outside himself to buy something to make diner.

The dawn just ended, darkness covered the sky, dim lights shined every street, Saeyoung was woken up by the smell of curry. He let out a long yawn, stood up and walked to the kitchen, thinking that maybe that was Vanderwood’s cooking time, and surprised when he saw that the one standing there was Saeran. He pulled out a chair and sat down, rubbing his temble due to sleepiness.

"You can leave the cooking to Vanderwood or me.” 

“Leave it to your lazy ass? And your cooking sucks anyway.”

Saeran replied with his back turned, stirring the stew carefuly. Saeyoung smiled, but something about this voice… The grumpiness, the sarcasm… He spranged up, trying to hold his excitement lest it wasn’t what he hoped for.

“Saeran?”

“What, this is not my first time in the kitchen. Vanderwood isn’t here, so who do you think have to clean up after you?” 

Saeran was just about to turn back with a scorn when Saeyoung slammed into him like a tornado, embracing him in a tight hug. The younger twin scowled when he saw his brother tears and snots streaming down his face, but he looked happy beyond belief.

“Saeran! You remembered?!”

“What are you talking about? I didn’t forget anything to remember!”

He pushed his brother out, trying to calm himself so that he would not kick Saeyoung’s belly. The older twin was so full of excitement, yet he did not forget to tell about what happended, about the time his younger brother was losing his memories. Saeran did not show any emotion, avoiding his brother like usual, but Saeyoung did not mind it anymore, wanting to let everyone know, realizing he left his phone on the sofa when he dozed out and hastily ran out to take it. Vanderwood walked in, as soon as Saeyoung saw his friend, the red haired hacker immediately talked nonstop, the brown haired man surprised, is that true, that boy had recovered?

Left Saeyoung sat on the chair typing messengers in the chatroom, Vanderwood slowly came into kitchen, put the groceries he just bought on the table and got near Saeran, he was still hesitate and did not know what to say.

“I hope you bought milk, there’s no more in the fridge.”

Saeran knew he just came back from grocery shopping. Vanderwood also knew he likes milk. And this way of talking… he must have recovered from the memory loss. The former agent murmured a “yes”, and after a moment, he added.

“Did you remember anything back when you lost your memory?“

“No!”

His answer was a bit too quick. Vanderwood furrowed his brows, but a laugh came out immediately when he saw how red Saeran’s face had turned.

“Liar. Your face is so red-”

Cursing his perfect sight, Saeran pulled his collar in a not-so-threatening pose. 

“Don’t you dare tell Saeyoung…”

Because he was very embarassed with all the childlish acts during all those time, smiling innocently, crying everytime he scared, or even yelling loudly when he got mad, a naive and lovely child, if his twin brother found out, that red-haired hacker would tease him non stop. Vanderwood was serious, he didn’t like all those overboard pranks from his friend from the start so he just nodded, Saeran left out a relieve sigh for that he knew that man would not betray him.  
.  
.  
.  
More than three weeks had passed since that accident, Saeran was completely recovered. Two days before Christmas, they actively decorated the bunker, because of that unfortunate misfoture that made everything delayed. Vanderwood changed a new cusion for the sofa’s pillows, Saeyoung hung colorful orbs one by one onto the Christmas tree while Saeran wrapping it with LED string lights, the older twin carelessly pumped into present boxes caused them to fell over. Saeran deadly stared at his brother, put them back neatly yourself I won’t help you, then carried boxes of orbs and pine needles out to decorate the door. Vanderwood put some candles on the stairs and around the bunker. Christmas didn’t mean anything when he was still an agent, or Mint Eye’s hacker, this is their first Christmas celebration.

The charity event day RFA had planned and performed finally came, Jaehee was doing her best to prepare. Yoosung was the most busy one when he had to help Jaehee and watch over Saeran. Zen focused on reading lines for the musical. Jumin was the main responsible for that day and his work was to welcome the guests. The twins refused to go out because of personal matters, Vanderwood was no exception.

More than nine hours passes, the event had ended, charity box had closed. Another cold winter, a chance for us to bring eachother special moments and meaningful gifts. Even if not every members could gather because they were too busy with their works, but they all still appreared in the chatroom. Phone in hand, messenger sound ringging nonstop, old messenger flowing away, new messenger flowing in, each with care and love. They smiled in silent, the winter was not cold anymore.

“Merry Christmas!”


End file.
